This Could Be Okay

by Cold Wrecks

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1.
In Time 02:35
All the hours spent absorbing static light Slowly accumulate, a ledger that defines The total worth and value of a life Spinning circles And all the promises so confidently made To a quiet friend under a quiet grave Of mountains to be moved Potential not to waste To be constructive What a disappointment All the hours lost to self-directed hate Slowly pile up ‘til you can’t bear the weight But it’s only the brain’s worst chemicals talking fake And that falling sky is just this desert’s rain And that ticking bomb is just the body’s way Of spelling out in Morse Code: “This could be okay” And I know you made a choice A different one than mine And I know that that’s your right And I know you’ll be just fine And I kind of wish you had The same respect for mine But I don’t want to fight Because I know I’ll be just fine In time And we’re further away From the view that inspired us And we’re further away From the knife that sliced us
2.
A broken railroad crossing sign I didn’t stop, I crossed the line There’s tons of steel and plastic seats And people coming right for me A broken sign an empty seat Your ghost is staring right at me And I’m too scared to say a thing The endless aching life will bring You won’t pick up the phone I’m worried you’re alone And I’m worried I’m a thief Caught up in another scheme I won’t pick up the phone When I need to be alone Stealing someone’s dreams And I’m caught up in another stupid scene We don’t find love We learn to get tough A broken railroad crossing sign I didn’t stop, I crossed the line There’s tons of steel and plastic seats And people coming right for me A broken sign an empty seat Your ghost is staring right at me And I’m too scared to say a thing The endless aching life will bring Child of an alcoholic Running out of things to call it Running out of time I never had the time
3.
When the ball dropped and the crowd cheered Took a deep breath, dreading the new year And the worry was surrounding But the laughter wasn’t stopping “I got old” When did you start feeling so? “I don’t know I guess a couple months ago” That’s a joke, I’ve heard this sorry monologue Over and over There’s no use with resolutions It’s a lifestyle, disillusioned “I got old” When did you start feeling so? “I don’t know I guess a couple years ago” That’s a joke, I’ve heard this sorry monologue Over and over “I got old” You said that ten years ago! “Yeah, I know But I was never comfortable” That’s terrible, but you could take control Drop those rose-colored glasses on the ground Step as hard as you can. What a glorious sound! We were never young, so getting old won’t hurt Stretch that aching back, it’s January First! When did you start feeling so old? I don’t know.
4.
You only show up in my head when I can’t sleep And I used to think I could see you In different cities And I’m letting go, but I’d like to know About a handful of nights When a couple things felt right About a handful of days When all we could say was goodbye And I’m letting go, but I’d like to know I know this is growing up I’m starting to see But now when I see you my throat closes up I can’t breathe It’s only getting worse in this garbage universe But there was a handful of nights When a couple things felt right There was a handful of days When all we could say was goodbye There’s nothing to let go There’s nothing left to know About a handful of nights When a couple things felt right About a handful of days When all we could say was goodbye
5.
The Season 02:59
It was a long week, barely worth the memory And then another, dragging uneventfully And I don’t know how Many more had passed before I realized I’ve been here all to frequently It’s the season, I’m repeating Hopeless lines I’ve practiced one too many times Losing sight, deluded into thinking that Self-aware means self-loathing We had a long fight, barely saying anything Another retread of boring insecurities And when I don’t speak You can’t know what I mean We run in silence, building distance in between It’s the season, I’m repeating Hopeless lines I’ve practiced one too many times Losing sight, deluded into thinking that Self-aware means self-loathing So I can justify the all-too-frequent tendency Of criticizing people happier than me Self-aware means self-loathing You know, the cold wrecks my ability To function half-appropriately While you sit waiting hopefully For a life you think could be happy Will I push on through til the weather turns? Will you lose your cool when I never learn? Will it all work out? Will I shed my doubts? Will I be something you could live without?
6.
Long Island 02:50
I told you about the drive Car engine screaming the whole time You smoked a cigarette you said You didn’t want to die just feel like it I’m gonna die at a hospital on Long Island My head is buzzing The alcohol is humming It would be easy but I Don’t forgive you I don’t even know why I drag my feet like stones My eyes are closed, my fists are closed And I don’t know why I’m gonna die at a hospital on Long Island I see the peak Under my drink I saw the cliff While we were talking Our time was rotten You smoked a cigarette you said You didn’t want to die just feel like it I’m gonna die at a hospital on Long Island You were like a drug I couldn’t sleep You were like a drug I couldn’t keep You didn’t hear me out When I was screaming loud
7.
Panicking 02:15
Hands are shaking and I can’t see straight Skull is pulsing and I can’t feel my face And the knocking on my rib cage door Is getting louder than before I’m forgetting how to breathe I’m about to smash the screen There's no use to explain ‘Cause that just makes it worse Make another move, make another change Make another noise or don’t So I’ll pretend I’m listening Smile big, don’t let them know I’m panicking There's no use to explain ‘Cause that just makes it worse I can’t control my brain And thinking harder hurts for longer Talking never works There's no use to explain ‘Cause that just makes it worse
8.
Hanging on a sidewalk close to the edge Wondering who would miss me if I was dead 'Cause nobody told me about mental health So I found a couple ways to deal with it myself And we bought right in We were desperate children Because imaginary friends Were still better than not having any friends Faith and ancient texts Were a decent substitute for confidence 'Cause when the house of cards Comes crashing down No one’s gonna teach you How to stand on solid ground They’ll just laugh and ask “What took so long?” While the rest assumeYou’re just another prodigal one And we bought right in We were desperate children Because loneliness is a gateway drug To bad politics and bad assumptions What else are we supposed to do When we can’t find anything to hold on to? But we grew up We learned how to love We learned so much And we’re never giving up And we bought right in We were desperate children
9.
Light 02:47
Feeling light lately I know we're all feeling crazy I know I call my folks too much to complain When I don’t feel okay We talked about how you were feeling light That you're too sick to go outside And talking to people feels fake When you can’t talk about the things you hate The things you hate You came over Talked about your light summer When you pulled away from everyone And lost it all You picked up some habits That you're trying to break Before you break
10.
8mm 03:10
Smiling for the eight-millimeter With a smile that suddenly seems too familiar Like a smile that we put on every day in the mirror A smile that knows how to fade And you’ve been screaming Yeah, you’ve been screaming And you can’t stop screaming, no And everybody’s scared That you’re headed over there And you’re getting pretty scared yourself And did you know that you were not alone? As you wandered through the vapor getting lost No, you didn’t know, and now you’re almost gone And you don’t wanna talk at all about it That’s okay ‘cause I’m afraid to talk about it And now it’s too late to talk to you about it And I’m talking to myself And you don’t want anyone to see you Don’t you worry, no one’s gonna see you It’s the last thing you said And that means permanent ‘Cause we don’t take things back You could have told me And did you know that you were not alone? As you wandered through the vapor getting lost No, you didn’t know, and now you’re almost gone And it’s too late for me to help you hold on In a dirty waiting room You didn’t know what you were waiting for and I was in denial too In one brief moment of lucidity You said: “I don’t know why this is happening to me” And all that’s left The remnant of a camera lens Where you can stay beautiful As the ink slowly fades and vanishes And did you know that you were not alone? As you wandered through the vapor getting lost But you didn’t know and now you’re gone
11.
IDK 05:03
I watch you tear me open And you say it doesn’t have to be this way And I know I must be leaving You say it doesn’t have to be this way I’m leaving Same reasons I’m leaving And I don’t know what’s gonna happen Sometimes the train sounds like the ocean When I’m asleep and leaving town I close my eyes and notice All the worst things Sometimes your steps sound like a freight train When I am lost and on the tracks I close my eyes and realize We’re further away And now a few times a year I can’t fall asleep Without a pill down my throat It takes some weight off of my feet And I don’t know what’s gonna happen When I was 18, I swore I’d never But ten years has a way of teaching Now I’m learning That if I want to sleep There’s some things I can’t keep to myself And if I want to leave There’s some things I can’t keep And I don’t know what’s gonna happen When I was 18 I swore I’d never Take any pills to keep it together And I told my father that I’d be stronger That I’d find a way to do this no longer Now I’m 28, 10 years to the day That I left for college to find a new calling Now I’m in my bedroom apartment in Brooklyn And I’m in full panic and I think I’ve had it And I think you’ve had it And we’re further away

credits

released May 7, 2019

CJ Dunaieff - Drums, Group Vocals
Craig Shay - Vocals, Bass
Matan Uchen - Guitar, Group Vocals
Mike Vizzi - Vocals, Guitar

Featuring:
Samantha Campanile - Vocals (Tracks 4, 10, 11)

Lyrics by Shay and Vizzi
Music by Dunaieff, Shay, Uchen, and Vizzi

Artwork by Mikaela Jane Palermo

Recorded September 2018 at Cannon Found Soundation
Produced and Engineered by Jesse Cannon and Brian DiMeglio
Mixed and Mastered by Jesse Cannon

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Cold Wrecks Brooklyn, New York

Dad rock for pop-punkers, pop-punk for emo kids, emo for dads.

Cold Wrecks deliver emotional catharsis with a delirious grin, frantic energy underlying songs about growing, coping, freaking out, and learning. The band is the result of far-too-long-lasting friendships, and their top priority is to just, like, make sure everyone is having a nice/safe/affirming/fun time, you know? ... more

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